Perth Hills because you’re too lazy to go south proper.

paparazzi on the run race photo

By Dennis Tan at Paparazzi on the Run, on the Great Northern Hwy Climb in Walyunga National Park.

A collection of notable climbs around Perth because we’re too lazy go down to the course proper and train on it. All hill information has been wholesale stolen from Strava.

This is a collection of Strava segments, it’s up to you to get to it. I suggest you trawl through the overall leaderboard for that segment and find someone’s run to copy.

If you are familiar with these climbs and think that the noted location should be adjusted (i.e. should be listed within a National Park because it’s accessible only from within the park, etc), please get in touch and it can be amended. For some I merely took a punt off what the Strava map suggested.

Distance / average grade / elevation distance / climb category if listed by Strava

Bickley Brook Reservoir:

Gilchrist Road climb 0.6km / 19% / 121m / 4

Hardinge Road ascent (‘Burnt Bike’) 0.8km / 13% / 107m / 4

Transmission Tower Climb 0.6km / 10% / 68m

A dive into Fraggle Rock 0.5km / -15% / 89m

Wild Bill’s Loop 1.4km / -6% / 89m

Spillway to Stairs Climb 0.2km / 7% / 22m

Kings Park:

One Kokoda, Two Kokoda, Three Kokoda, Floor 0.9km / 0% / 37m

Kokoda Up and Up 0.1km / 33% / 45m

Bottom to Top ‘Mount Street’ 0.2km / 15% / 36m

Martin: 

Ascension Canning River Creek 4th Firetrail 1.0km / 15% / 157m / 4

Kelmscott:

Ascension to Kylie Rd on Canning Mills Rd from Roberts Rd 2.3km / 8% / 185m / 3

Ascent Trail near Taronga to ‘aquaduct’ 0.6km / 12% / 77m

Ascent State 1 from Sunset Tce North 0.0km / 27% / 18m

Banyowla Wright BRK Trails 0.1km / 24% / 47m

Byford:

Pain is just meekness leaving the body 1.1km / 11% / 131m / 4

Beenyup Ascent 3 straight 0.5km /16% / 90m / 4

Ascend from Beenyup turn right up 2nd fork 0.6km / 15% / 98m / 4

Brook to Powerline Climb 0.8km / 16% / 131m / 4

Ascension of Cruisy Slopes to Summit 1.2km / 13% / 166m / 3

Woodstock Extended Play 1.2km / 12% / 152m / 4

Steep Ascent Eastwards towards North Karrakup 0.2km / 20% / 58m

Far Left Single Track and Wide Red Firetrail Ascent near end 0.5km / 16% / 83m / 4

Ascent to Karrakup 0.3km / 14% / 53m

Byford Walk Trail Bluemetal Steps 0.2km / 11% / 32m

Karrakup:

Lost City to the Max! 1.7km / 2% / 54m

Ascend trail from Phillips/Nettleton intersection 0.3km / 11% / 37m

Bedfordale:

Tank Climb 0.4km / 23% / 95m / 4

Admiral Road Climb 0.5km / 23% . 122m / 4

That Dam Hill 0.2km / 22% / 65m

Qi Gong Opening Salvo 0.5km / 19% / 108m / 4

Triton, Trundle, Eastern Trail, Breakaway to Lightning Trail Ascents 1.8km / 8% / 147m / 4

Trail Ascent Trundle to Breakaway SE 0.2km / 13% / 37m

Trail Ascension to Breakaway 0.8km / 11% / 91m / 4

Carmel:

Lady Street 1.1km / 9% / 108m / 4

Walyunga National Park:

Great Northern Hwy Climb 2.2km / 6% / 142m / 4

Shady Hills View Climb 0.3km / 18% / 55m

Northern Jumbuck Gateway Trail 0.1km / 18% / 34m

Kalamunda:

Crazy Town  0.8km / 18% / 145m / 4

Cardiac 0.8km / 15% / 138m / 4

Ascent Stage 1 from Sunset Terrace North 0.0km / 27% / 18m

Piesse Brook:

Neville Street 0.6km / 20% / 121m / 4

Ascension to Ocean View Pde 1.5km / 11% / 167m / 3

Lot 7900 Zig Zag Scenic Dr Climb 0.5km / 15% / 74

Miler Ascent; Schipp to Jorgenson via the Elevator 1.5km / 7% / 113m / 4

Power Line Climb 1.3km / 9% / 122m / 4

Roach Road Climb 0.5km / 15% / 81m / 4

Gooseberry Hill:

Ascension to League of Genteel Gooseberry Men 2.0km / 8% / 181m / 3

Upper Swan:

Lot 1007 Cathedral Ave Climb 0.4km / 13% / 58m

Lot 1007 Cathedral Avenue Climb 0.3km / 15% / 52m

Forrestfield:

Ascent; Snakey Creepy Creek to Nelson Ford 0.7km / 10% / 100m / 4

The Dysfunctional Family 2.1km / 7% / 156m / 4

Ascent; Palm Tce entry to Childbirth Turnoff 1.1km / 10% / 113m / 4

Lesmurdie:

Whistlepipe Gully near trail to Ozone turnoff 0.6km / 9% / 58m

Wungong and Wungong National Park:

The Gorge NE Ridge 0.1km / 25% / 35m

Gorge SW Ascent 0.2km / 17% / 48m

Wungong Close Climb 0.6km / 17% / 115m / 4

Ascension Relentless near Cairns and NE Ridge 1.4km / 12% / 166m / 3

Lot 809 Rails Crescent Climb 1.3km / 13% / 171m / 3

Corrigin Rise Ascent 0.1km / 19% / 35m

Avon Valley National Park:

Big G 1.1km / 17% / 199m / 3

John Forrest National Park:

Moose’s Mountain 0.5km / 16% / 85m / 4

Uphill Rep Stretch 0.4km / 12% / 58m

Red Dirt Ascension 0.2km / 12% / 33m

Trails Ascent North towards Toodyay Road 1.5km / 7% / 101m / 4

Ascension to Great Eastern Highway via Wooden Bridge Gully 1.6km / 8% / 124m 4

Wedgetail Circle Climb 1.7km / 4% / 60m

Bateman:

Arcadia Crescent Climb 0.5km / 14% / 71m

North Coogee:

Ascend the Pantheon from Orsino 0.4km / 7% / 27m

Beeliar:

Thoms Trails Dirty Soft Ascent From Lake 0.5km / 7% / 42m

City Beach:

Go N Sheoak to Pine Intersection 0.1km / 10% / 19m

Millendon:

Loton Road Climb 0.9km / 15% / 145m / 4

Lung Buster 0.8km / 15% / 123m / 4

Greenmount:

Phone Tower Ascent 0.2km / 16% / 34m

Greenmount’s Finest 0.4km / 20% / 86m / 4

GNP Lung Buster 0.5km / 13% / 72m

Lookout Climb 1.5km / 10% / 154m / 4

Brigadoon:

Orlov the hills! 0.7km / 14% / 105m / 4

Lot 80 Campersic Road Climb 1.1km / 9% / 109m / 4

Beelu National Park:

Kelly’s Climb 2.9km / 7% / 209m / 3

Trail Ascent in Pines from Mundaring Weir Road to North Ledge Road 0.2km / 11% / 25m

The Hill – O’Connor Road Climb ‘Phil’s Hill’ 2.8km / 8% / 225m / 3

Gidgegannup:

Wooroloo Brook Climb 1.4km / 12% / 180m / 3

Upper Swan:

East of Bells Rapids Bridge Fence to Summit Fences 2.7km / 7% / 187m / 3

Serpentine, and Serpentine National Park:

The Three Steps 1.0km / 18% / 188m / 3

Up The Three Steps 0.6km / 22% / 134m / 4

Extreme Steepness ‘Three Steps’ 0.2km / 28% / 65m

Scrivener Road Climb 1.0km / 18% / 188m / 3

Ascend to Near Log Hurdle from Falls Road 1.5km / 14% / 208m / 3

Rocky Ladder One (Baldwins Sign to Sign) 1.0km / 11% / 115m / 4

McKay Drive Climb 0.5km / 19% / 96m / 4

Bendy.

I think it was back when I was training for Six Inch in 2014 there was a yoga studio using some retail space downstairs from work, and they offered a Yoga for Runners class at around lunchtime. I booked in for it because I had a niggly hamstring that I couldn’t quite properly stretch, so I thought it was worth a shot, whilst also being relatively cheap.

The class was successful in releasing my niggles but frustrating. I was part entertained by the graceful flow that the yoga teacher had; she easily moved from one pose to the next, whilst I looked like a mid-sized JCB telehandler trying to imitate her movements. At the same time it all felt a bit mortifying; her flow was graceful, but fast, and I’d feel about 3 steps behind with each pose. Also the hippy chat shit me. So I never went back.

Around the end of May I randomly got some spam from Runner’s World magazine. I haven’t subscribed in years, so I was surprised to get any emails from them, and almost immediately deleted it. I saw something like Become a faster and stronger runner in the subject line and held off from deleting; opening it up expecting a teaser about an article in the next issue. I realised that they were selling a DVD called Yoga for Runners. It was a two disc DVD, it had a few routines on it, including a beginners routine and was only $19.95, which included shipping, so I cracked out my “wasteful spending” credit card (aka the Stupid Fund for Stupid Things), and bought a copy.

yoga_550x733_shop

It turned up about a week after I fucked my left ankle, so I took the plastic off it, chucked it on my laptop and had a quick watch whilst flopped on the couch with my foot in the air. The presenter, Rebecca Pacheco refrained from most of the hippy chat, which was a big plus, and appeared to factor in all abilities. When I realised that generally she would try and take you from the easier technique through to the harder version (the reverse of the yoga class teacher) I felt like I hadn’t wasted $20. And best of all, I could pause and rewind as needed.

I’m sort of following a training plan for Six Inch, and it has a flexibility part to it which I think I need at the moment more than anything. Tonight I felt like I’d regained enough balance to give the beginners routine on the DVD a shot, and it went OK. I managed to follow along relatively well, only having to rewind once. I can’t sit on my heels any more (I can barely get the tops of my feet to touch the floor at all), but I didn’t fall over. I did notice that it’s going to take some serious effort to get me to be able to successfully hold even the beginners tree pose.

Work is part sponsoring six weeks of lunchtime yoga and pilates classes. I’ve signed up for Tuesday pilates, so with that plus the beginner’s yoga routine, I hope I can get back that ankle flexibility and balance that I used to enjoy.